Meeting a Shaman in Sedona
Enlightenment in the desert wasn’t the original plan. I was looking for an opportunity to reignite my passion for life and gift myself a unique experience for all of the intense inner work I had done over the previous 6 months. I was in a portal between my disintegrating old self and the anticipation of a lighter, upgraded version of myself, moving forward with more peace, clarity and wisdom. Much like the summer between high school senior year and becoming a college freshmen, I was embracing the magic of the impending unknown. Or more appropriate, I was clawing my way out of the dark tunnel of my soul with a blazing torch.
When my original plans fell through to visit friends and attend a Tony Robbins UPW in LA, I quickly pivoted and decided to put my energy into a trip to the desert. Once I made the decision to go to my first International Women’s Conference in Phoenix, destiny just started to fall into place. Justin Timberlake’s Man of the Woods tour happened to be in Phoenix two days before the conference. Oddly enough, a friend of a friend, works for JT and before I could enjoy the potential anticipation, I had front row VIP tickets to the concert! This is crazy!
In between JT and the women’s conference, I had one free day. I heard so many things about Sedona and I thought why not just drive up for the day and explore the area. I booked an airbnb on pure intuition, plus a hot tub filter. I could never have imagined it would become a life-changing 24 hours.
I walked into the room that I was going to be staying in for the night and it was everything: animals of the wild on the bedspread, a large white wolf tapestry on the wall behind the bed, my host’s grandpa’s picture on the wall as a Native American healer, a few books of poems that my host had written and multiple authentic dreamcatchers hanging on the bed and wall.
When I met Charles, it was like he already knew me. When he showed me to the room, he affably stood in the doorway making sure I was getting everything that I needed and I felt comfortable. Although he was highly aware of his powerful presence, I didn’t feel intimidated, even though we were home alone, as his international pianist wife was still at work. I knew that he was also a spiritual healer because that was in the profile on his airbnb page. It’s exactly why I booked this private room. I knew that I was supposed to meet him and I needed him to properly explore Sedona.
He asked me about my travels and assumed I needed rest. I was coming off of a high from JT and just here to explore (Sedona) and discover all the energies here. He knew that I was supposed to be there and he knew why. That sounds kind of creepy when I say it out loud now but at the time it felt oddly comforting and normal. How does this man in the middle of the desert know me, without knowing me? He could tell that I was in my head but wanted to be in my heart. He said “give me your hands”.
It was much like the game of ‘slap hands’ where your hands are on the bottom and the other’s are on top and you try to smack the other’s hands before they pull them away. He just kept his on top of mine to feel my energy. In the moment, I knew that it was odd and would normally be deemed crazy but it was magical. When he started speaking it was exactly how I felt, without him knowing anything about me or my story. I was searching for something intangible and he knew it.
He suggested I settle in and get some rest but I desperately wanted to maximize my time, exploring as much as I could and asked if he would mind guiding me through some of Sedona’s special places. I had voraciously read stories about the energy vortex(s), spiritual awakenings and the unexplainable magic and beauty of Sedona, yet I had no idea what that meant. I knew that I needed him to come with me because I didn’t know what I was looking or feeling for. I chose to explore with no plan, expectations or attachments. Just be.
I know what tourist areas are like because I’m from one and I trust the locals know the extra special places to discover the authentic vibe of the area. It was odd when I walked downtown old Sedona and I saw a fudge shop proud to serve the original Mackinaw Island recipe. I had to go in because that recipe is from my home town. It was a quaint Bavarian fudge shop much like the ones from home. The proud owners told me that, many years ago, a man was traveling through the area selling the famous fudge recipe and they were delighted to hear about my connection. In a place that became so special to me, it was fun and comforting to see a slice of home in Sedona and enjoy how they used the original recipe to make something new and fresh.
That evening I hung out in the hot tub under the open sky, filled with stars and attempted to understand all the weird stuff that already happened to me since I had arrived. My phone would go in and out of charging and just turning off. My ears were ringing. I felt light headed at times. I had moderately learned about mercury retrograde, which was also happening at the same time I was in Sedona, along with some other unique astrological occasions. I asked Charles about my phone and he said “that happens here sometimes”. The house was a short walk to one of the most powerful energy vortex areas of Sedona, in Coconino County.
The following morning, we shared a light breakfast in the kitchen, after he completed his daily meditation and rituals. We started our short walk towards the beautiful rock formations I had only read about on blogs and watched in videos of other’s experiences. I followed and trusted his path.
He had me touch the trees, the rocks and trees to see if I could feel the energy within each one of them. I was clueless and he was purposely blunt. I said, I don’t hear anything and I don’t feel anything, I don’t know what you’re talking about. He said, just listen. I said I don’t hear anything. He said, in very strong words, not mean and not judgmental, but direct, “it’s going to be in your own voice”. It’s like I wanted to hear a specific voice telling me something about what I was experiencing but it was my own voice. I’m laughing now because at the time I felt so ridiculous and weird and uncomfortable. All the messages that we get from wherever you feel like you’re getting them, whether it’s the universe, God, your ancestors, your higher self, it’s most likely going to be in your own voice.
That’s the whole point. Messages that I am seeing, smelling, hearing, sensing from experiences, or people or things, are from my own perception of myself and my inner voice, which give me the words to explain it. Those words have meaning to me because of my own experiences and perspective. I told him that I’ve been very frustrated because, ever since I can remember, I have always felt that I’m living with 1 foot in and 1 foot out. Temporary. Unrooted. Craving belonging, yet feel like I know that I am different than most people that I’m around. He said, “I know, you’re one of us”.
What?! What do you mean “I’m one of you”. He said, you’re a bridge between the two worlds. He said, you can’t spend more time in one world over the other because if you spend time only in the spiritual world then you’re in La La Land and have no sense of grounding. If you spend time only here on the earth, grounded, then you’ll never experience the spiritual side of life. You’re the bridge between both worlds. And your light is here to help people find their way from one to the other. I had already been told by another friend that I am a torchbearer of sorts. It sounds crazy to say out loud and it’s honestly even crazier to write it down and tell other people.
It’s my truth and it’s not something I’m going to pretend is not there. He said, you have a torch in one hand whether you want it or not, so you can either except it or you can deny it but either way, it’s there. It’s going to be very frustrating, it’s going to be hard, but it is what it is. I believed him.
I said, “now what? What do I do with this torch in my hand.” He bluntly said, don’t “DO” anything. It’s like being a lighthouse, it’s there when people need it but it doesn’t have to DO anything. Just be there. The people that need you will find you when they need you. You don’t go around telling everybody that you have a torch. They come to you to guide them back home. Be you.
As we started walking back to the house, he said in a very laughing manner, like a big brother giving me shit, that I’m going to be very frustrated and confused quite often. He was literally mocking me and laughing at what is about to come my way. It’s like when you have more experience than somebody at something and then you still have to go through it yourself. He will be a guide to support me whenever I need it just like a big brother or a mentor. I mean how many people have a shaman as a mentor??! This is crazy.
As we were walking back, I became very disoriented. I said we need to stop, I’m getting really dizzy. He said, does it feel like the mountains are moving in and about the fall on you? Yes! I was staring at the beautiful (Sedona) rock formations and they felt like they were falling towards me like they’re about to fall on top of me and I knew they weren’t going to, but it was a very disorienting experience that I can’t even explain. Apparently it happens quite often there because he was not concerned and told me that’s what happens up here.
He also reached into his pocket and pulled out what I could only understand as rocks or potentially crystals, I wasn’t sure at the time. He said one of these represents me and one of these represents the world. I use these to meditate every day to remind myself that I am my own person but I am also part of the world. I want you to have this one.
He gave me a blue crystal/rock which he had said represented the world and told me that I would find one that represents me. I said, where do I even start? He said, you’ll know it when you find it. What?! Where do I find something that represents me? I’m saying this to myself in my head. This is crazy.
After a nice breakfast out on the porch with his wife, after she had serenaded us with some of her piano music, we chatted a little bit more about life in Hawaii and sharing stories from our travels all over the world. I knew that I would see them again and be part of their lives but didn’t know how.
I get messages from him every once in a while just to let me know that he’s thinking about me and praying for me. I take his messages very seriously because I know when he messages me something is coming. He’s been my guide when I felt lost and couldn’t find my way back home. He is my light and I’ve been one for him. I even wrote him a letter of recommendation for spiritual healer position. What?! I just wrote a letter recommendation for a shaman? This is crazy.
I said goodbye for now and asked him where I could find a really authentic crystal shop, a place I had no idea existed. He sent me to some of the original Sedona and Native American locations for some of the local artists in town to explore. I was in no rush to get back to Phoenix so I could cruise the shops in town, with no expectations of what I was even looking for. I was on a high that day!
I felt like I just found the secret to my life. Everything shifted and I wasn’t sure what was gonna happen next. All I knew was I was in an in between world needing to make very important decisions for my life but also wanted to embrace the in between just a little bit longer. I stopped in the crystal shop a amongst the other local stores and just wandered around feeling no expectations. I don’t know anything about crystals.
None of the other stores I walked into had anything I was guided to. A lot of beautiful art and crafts from the area, but that’s not what I was there to find. The crystal shop had a really eerie feeling to it, not in a bad way, but like I was supposed to be there. I didn’t feel forced because I don’t even know what I was looking for. I looked at all the different crystals trying to learn all the different terms in the names and the colors and shapes and trying to better understand this world that I had only heard about.
I came back around to a section that felt good to me. They looked like the rocks of Sedona, with all of its colored brown stripes and reds. I started holding some of them and feeling the curves and the smoothness of some of the different pieces. After going back to it a third time, it wasn’t super powerful or anything, just something about it felt right. The colors, the representation of the area and the description on the label.
Tiger Eye.
Protection, release fear and anxiety, aids harmony and balance, stimulates taking action, helps you to make decisions with discernment and understanding and unclouded by your emotions. Synthesizes the energies of Sun and Earth. Balancing of yin-yang energy. Traditionally it was carried as an amulet against curses or ill-wishing. It is known to give you courage, self confidence and strength of will. It enhances creativity and is one of the stones that aid kundalini awakening.
The word protection and it’s the variety of other healing properties, was exactly what I needed. I went to go check out and the attended asked me to go look for the price codes for the tiger eye. I flipped it over and the code for the price was 7777. She said “for real”? I said, yes the code is 7777. She said, I think you found the right one. This is crazy.
So I had the bright blue world rock/crystal from Charles and now this Tiger eye that apparently may represent me. I didn’t know what that meant but I have it in my pocket. I didn’t know how powerful that crystal would be…until I did.
For as long as I can remember, I felt like I was always living in temporary situations, one foot in and one foot out. My homes felt temporary, my relationships felt temporary, my career felt temporary, thinking there’s always something more but not really knowing what that meant. I felt like I was staying somewhere because I felt comfortable but also wanting, or at least expecting, to eventually leave. I was always searching for a deep connection to something I could jump both feet into and just run with it.
After meeting with Charles, I am now proud to be someone who has one foot in and one foot out. He validated all of my feelings just by being him and confirming my belonging. He tried to explain who I am in ways that I was able to understand. I felt like an imposter hanging out with him, but at the same time, he was like a big brother that was just teaching me things that I wasn’t quite exposed to yet.
Charles always calls me sister. It does feel odd sometimes, yet also feels like I belong to something bigger than myself. I’m part of a collective, a group that represents the bridge between life here on earth and the spiritual world. I’m still trying to figure it all out. He bluntly said I need to stop searching for something because it’s already inside of me. It will take practice to find my sense of home. The more I practice the faster I can get there. Feeling like I’ve always been Dorothy from Wizard of Oz, I now know what he was talking about. I was always looking for home and even when I was “home” I really didn’t feel like I was. I know that it’s inside of me and I don’t need to go anywhere, searching for it.
I’ve developed more tools to find my way back there when I need to at any point in the day. Sometimes it’s through journaling, or meditation or a deep conversation with a trusted friend. I just keep following the inner voice that he validated when I was on the mountain with him that day. Follow my curiosities and trust. I guess I never really learned what trusting myself truly meant until that day. Everything changed after that.
